Dr. Eggman : -and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG", and I said "That's disgusting!" So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller! And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like!
[Eggman makes explosion noises as the Eclipse Cannon is revealed]
Dr. Eggman : That's right, baby! All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong!
[the rest of the dubbers are dying with laughter]
Dr. Eggman : He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth!
[the Eclipse Cannon fires]
Dr. Eggman : That's right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOON!
[the laser hits the moon]
Dr. Eggman : HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!
[the dubbers continue to laugh as the camera pans up to a countdown clock on the jumbo-tron]
Dr. Eggman : You have 23 hours before the piss DRRRROPLLLETS hit the fucking Earth! Now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
Dr. Eggman : [Shadow has just defeated one of GUN's robots] Wow! I'm gonna have to use that to get into your social security accoooouunt!
Dr. Eggman : Shadow the Hedgehog, please join me by my side and we shall, uh, rule the Earth together, ho ha ha! You can stand by me, Dr. Eggman, even though my BODY used to be a regular shape!
Dr. Eggman : [Eggman, Shadow, and Rouge are meeting in the jungle, as the camera zooms in on Eggman] Alright, since Team FurAffinity fucked my wife, I'm going to have to have you both be a part of my team. Why is the camera zooming in?
Rouge the Bat : I mean, I guess that's fine, as long as I get my weed back, I don't really care.
Dr. Eggman : Listen! You're going to explore this island, you're going to find Sonic! He has all the weed that you need! The ganja, that Mary Jane, marij-a-mij! All in his pockets! He is your local drug dealer, and I'm going to blow up the island! Now go look for Sonic, and hurry up, you... fucking... cuckhogs.
Dr. Eggman : She fuckin- he fuckin- she- they fucked my wife! The animals fucked my wife! Then everybody fucking left because the ship was gonna be destroyed. She was able to escape because I designed a robot that would be able to pleasure her in such an intense way that I would be able to finally fuck her! But it didn't happen! Because then she decided to become a furry fucker and fucked the whole Sonic the Hedgehog and Shadow Team, which didn't even fuckin matter because then it went into a new ark AND THEN SHE FUCKED THE WORLD. THE WORLD WAS HER NEXT TARGET, BECAUSE HER JUSSY WAS NOT PLEASED ENOUGH. SO SHE HAD TO HO HERSELF OUT AND BE THE BIGGEST THHRRRRROT THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN. THE WORLD. IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED. RIGHT NOW. I'M LOGGING OFF.
Dr. Eggman : I don't give a FLYING FUCK, that bitch can fuck off, I've divorced her ass three hours ago! I'm SO SICK, my body is doing THINGS - THAT THING! And you over there, SHUT UP. And you, take off my pants! YOU WANNA SEE SOME - WEIRD SHIT?